Since I’ve been recuperating from my foot infection, there isn’t a lot I can do around the house right now besides hobble back and forth from the kitchen to the bedroom or living room. I was able to sit down and sift through some of Roberto’s things. It’s something every widow must do eventually, and depending on circumstances, sooner rather than later. Maybe you’ve got to locate deeds, wills, insurance policies and other documents.
We led a simple life so that wasn’t the purpose of my quest. Actually, I was just clearing a table off and ran across a mini Day-Timer diary that I had bought for him to take with him to the hospital. So he could make notes, write down information, etc. Robert did use the book as somewhat of a diary, as evidenced by this very touching entry back in March 2011:
3-13 moved from ICU to room 2037 some time today. Wife came for xtended stay. Love watching her do her computer thing. She slept 4.5 hours.
I cried when I read that. For several reasons. First, because he expressed real eagerness to get out of the ICU to a regular room. And second of all, because I never really thought Robert cared much about my web design business. I always thought he viewed it as me playing on the computer. So I now know that not only did he take it seriously, but he also took pride in it.
Instead of finding love letters from other women (or worse yet, other men) or some other unpleasant surprise, I found a wonderful gift. The knowledge that my husband loved and respected me and what I do. Thank you, Robo, even from beyond the grave, for caring about me and supporting me.
#lifesbitterdisappointment #
RT @burek: “You have to die a few times before you can really live.” – Charles Bukowski #