• My Christmas list? Just for the *&%# doc to figure out what’s wrong with me. Other than that (and to cure robo’s paralysis), I have it all. #

To keep this ball rolling, I’m going to tag four other bloggers. Just post your answers and link back to me, would ya, Trisha, Ivan, David and Rick.

1. FIRST NAME? Joni

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No. My mother was into French things and she always pronounced the “J” like the “Zs” in Zsa Zsa Gabor. But everyone else pronounces it “Joanie.”

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Tuesday at the doctor’s office when he suggested that the constant pain in my abdomen since June 29 might be depression. UGH!!

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? I rarely eat lunchmeat, and especially bologna. But I love, love, LOVE liverwurst. The kind with the big yellow plastic that’s pre-sliced.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Maybe. Maybe not.

7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I think the blog counts, no?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep!

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Not just no, but HELL NO.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Fruit Loops.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I don’t wear shoes that tie. Period. Full stop.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically? No. Emotionally? A lot more than most people give me credit for. And I should add that I can press upwards of 200 pounds with my legs. Don’t mess with me; I kick you, mang!

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Milk Chocolate. Blue Bell of course. (Is there any other brand?)

14. SHOE SIZE? 8.0-8.5.

15. RED OR PINK? Red. And not just any old red. I prefer #e80000 or #cc0000.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My bad temper.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Someone I have yet to meet. And we both know who that is.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Nah. Don’t send it back to me, post it on your own blog.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Olive cotton crop pants, tomato red knit tee top and barefooted.

20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Sliver of pumpkin pie.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My chubby little cat snoring. Oh, music? Hladno Pivo that my best friend sent me.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Something purple-y of course.

23. FAVORITE SMELL? Coffee. Mmmmm.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Reni, my bestest gal pal.

25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Brains/Mind.

26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON YOU STOLE THIS from? Yeah, she’s pretty cool.

27. FAVORITE DRINK? Cherry Diet Pepsi.

28. FAVORITE SPORT? I don’t do sports.

29. EYE COLOR? Brown.

30. HAT SIZE? Not a clue.

31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope. Four-eyes here.

32. FAVORITE FOOD? Tomato soup and avocado.

33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.

34. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO TO WASTE TIME? Netty things.

35. SUMMER OR WINTER? This is Houston, don’t be silly.

36. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses.

37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Lemon bars.

38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Respond? Like Christine, I’m not e-mailing this to anyone.

39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Again. What she said.

40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Everything I can about ex-YU.

41. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Duh. A mouse. A purple VAIO mouse to be precise.

42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? I didn’t watch TV last night. When I do watch it, I almost always watch shows Robert has TIVO’d for me, such as True Blood.

43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Music.

44. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? Stones, man.

45. THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? Orange County, California

46. WHAT’S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Like a Stupid Pet Trick? I can sing the Israeli National Anthem. In Hebrew.

47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? San Antonio, Texas.

48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? No one. I shamelessly stole it from Christine.

You know, we don’t celebrate Christmas around here. There’s just Robert and me. We have no kids. Our friends are grown and don’t expect anything. I do give a little something to my co-workers. But I’ve never been one to stand around in a crowd, and especially at oh-dark-thirty in the morning.

People the likes of the horde of rabid shoppers at the Forest Hills Queens Wal-Mart who trampled a store worker to death and then went about their shopping as if nothing were wrong, and some of whom in fact became outraged when asked to leave due to the worker’s death, just amaze me.

Shoppers stepped over the man on the ground and streamed into the store. When told to leave, they complained that they had been in line since Thursday morning.

To that I say, WTF? and Boo-fucking-hoo! So some cheapskate moron wasted an entire day of his/her life waiting in line in a store parking lot? While a man lay dying inside the store? For what?! There is no toy, no cheap-ass appliance, shoddy article of clothing or any other tangible thing worth all that time on my part and a human life on someone else’s (or my, for that matter) part.

Jesus Christ, you fuckers have screwed up priorities.

• The only Christmas decorating I’m doing. Go peek. http://www.joniverse.com #

• @zenfishing Ridiculous. I’m staying home today. Plus no one to shop for and … if cooking.com doesn’t have it, I don’t need it! in reply to zenfishing #
• RT @Problogger Checking out – Splitweet – Multi account Twitter Management for corporate users http://splitweet.com/ GREAT Twitter Tool! #
• Re #SplitTweet, kinda hard to RT using cut and paste since it uses Twitter NAME, not ID. #
• @JasonCalacanis Crass consumerism. It’s ugly, isn’t it? in reply to JasonCalacanis #

• @Riskin Because if it didn’t happen here in our back yard, we don’t care. Sad but true. That’s why we can bomb other nations with aplomb. #
• This explains our apathy about Mumbai: Arrogance, Ignorance & Cowardice: Lessons From 9/11, by Robert Jensen: http://tinyurl.com/6gnm6z #
• @cssglobe Absolutely. I’m a web designer too. Any chance of any dev licenses? Pozdrav! #
• Looks like some quality web templates: RT @ivanbrezakbrkan advisees you to tweet @cssglobe to get 50% off at http://templatica.com #
• @robertbasic better than Neil Pert’s (Rush) drum solos? Are you sure? #
• Joni is thankful for her dishwasher right about now! #

“Turkeys vote!” Well that explains the last eight years, huh?

Tonight, I’m making one of Robert’s favorites. It’s a dish copied from the Alonti Deli in downtown Houston, and made better by me (at least according to Robert, but maybe that’s because he likes sleeping indoors!). It’s very easy to fix, start the salted water boiling for the pasta while you prep the vegetables. By the time you’ve melded the sauce, the pasta is ready to drain and dinner is served, in under 30 minutes.

Ingredients

• Olive oil
• 1 cup grilled chicken, cubed (I use 6 oz. Hormel Select Carved chicken breast)
• Four bell peppers, cleaned and julienned
• 1 cup mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
• 12 ounces pasta (I recommend fettuccini or bow tie pasta), cooked in salted water
• Alfredo Sauce (I use Monterrey Pasta Co. fresh alfredo sauce)
• Tablespoon granulated chicken boullion
• Tabasco sauce
• Sea salt
• Cracked pepper
• Shredded parmesan

Preparation

1. Once your salted water has come to a boil you can start preparation.
2. Add pasta to boiling water.
3. Clean and julienne four bell peppers (I like to use green, orange, yellow and red).
4. Clean and slice mushrooms.
5. Heat olive oil in wide saute pan and add peppers. Saute lightly for about five minutes, then add mushrooms.
6. Add chicken, toss well with peppers and mushrooms.
7. Add alfredo sauce, boullion crystals, salt and pepper to taste. Mix well.
8. Add Tabasco sauce to taste (this can be omitted completely if you like).
9. Simmer on low heat until heated through and pasta is done.
10. Sprinkle with parmesan and serve.

I don’t like to whine but dammit, I hurt. This pain (Upper Left Quadrant) has been going on since early July. I went to the emergency room back then one Sunday evening after work because the pain was so bad I could barely stand it. Three hours and $75 later, I had a prescription for Tylenol in my hand and a stern lecture that chronic pain was not something dealt with in an emergency room, and that I should see my primary care physician. In tears, I tore the prescription up in the doctor’s face and stormed out.

I did see my doctor, who had no clue what was wrong and referred me to a gastroenterologist. He did fuss at me because blood tests indicated I am now diabetic, among other things. Oy.

I saw the GE in August, and after she performed two CT scans, an ultrasound, an endoscopy and a colonoscopy, she declared me to be “fine” and suggested I might have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. She couldn’t understand why I was so upset that she found NOTHING WRONG during these procedures. She told me I should be “glad.” Why? I still hurt and no one knows what’s wrong.

The pain continues and has become tolerable, I guess because I’ve just gotten used to living with it. (Remember, I put up with excruciating cancer pain many years ago too, just because I thought I had to.) I went back to my doctor a few weeks ago with another theory: Celiac disease. My doctor humored me and gave me the blood test that ruled it out. So back to square one.

After some more Googling, I discovered gastroparesis. This makes perfect sense. Untreated diabetes is the number one cause of it. And eating a diet high in fiber doesn’t help. {{Slaps forehead}} All during these past months, I’ve been overdosing on fiber trying to keep the plumbing clean. Jeez.

I’m making another appointment with my doctor to run this latest theory past him. I hope it flies. I’m so tired of feeling … tired. Of having ZERO energy, of being in constant gnawing pain. This cannot be what the rest of my life will be like.