Just because you have a flowery scripture (that ends along the lines of “and leave the rest to God”) in your email signature does not mean that you can spew forth your venomous emotional vomit in the body of the message to me, ‘tay? Practice what you preach, sistah. Oh, and .. let’s keep God out of it, shall we? He doesn’t belong in the work place anyway and besides, He really can’t help you with this one. I think He’s busy doing God things. It’s not His fault, and it damn sure isn’t my fault that you don’t know how to style a Word document properly.

Love,

Me.

P.S. I’m no Christian, and if I were to step into a church, the walls would probably start to shake, but at least I know how to BEHAVE. Carry on.

I’ve been spending this quiet, cold, rainy Saturday afternoon cleaning out my email inbox and doing some major house work. Found this, kinda cute.

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Beer

Personality: Casual, low maintenance, down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Blender Drinks

Personality: Flaky, annoying, a pain in the ass
Your Approach: Avoid her unless you want to be her cabin boy

Mixed Drinks

Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her, she’ll send YOU a drink

Wine (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)

Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years, Alzheimer’s and term limits be damned

White Zin

Personality: Easy; thinks she’s classy and sophisticated; actually has no clue
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is

Shots

Personality: Hankging with frat boy pals or looking to get drunk — and naked
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait

BTW, if you were wondering … I’m a kamikaze kinda gal myself.