I’ve been spending most of the weekend converting my web design site to PHP and doing a few other housekeeping chores. The main goal was to take the copyright info and turn it into footer.php and take the sidebar links and convert them to links.php and use includes in all my files. I hadn’t done this in the past because I was scared to death of some security issues with GreyMatter, which I was using on my blog templates gallery page.

Now that the GreyMatter issue is resolved, I went ahead and uploaded all my purdy new files and was hit smack in the face with this lovely admonition:

“Warning: main(): stream does not
support seeking [path/to/page] on line [line]

The page and the includes all load fine. You just have that error message right before any includes you have on that page. So the includes DO work. I Googled the dog snot out of it and finally found the answer.

Seems if your web host has recently upgraded its version of PHP, you will encounter that anomaly, discussed and explained at http://bugs.php.net.

Listening to: Sapphire Rain - Paul Howards

News Anchor Dan Rather, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, and a U.S. Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader.

The leader said, “I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last requests?”

Dan Rather said, “Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”

Cokie Roberts said, “I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job ’til the end. “The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, “Now I can die happy.”

The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?”

“Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.

“What?” asked the leader. “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, the Iraqis
were dead, dying or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?”

“What!?” said the Marine, “And have you liberal assholes call ME the aggressor?!?”

Gina, the quintessential atypical female, has just inspired me to clean up my act. She posted the Before and After pics of her and hubby’s garage cleanup. That just may be the incentive I need to clean up: (1) the computer room, where I’m sitting now, with clutter around my ears; (2) the kitchen, which is low on storage space and task lighting and keeps getting more dismal and cramped with each passing day; (3) the guest bedroom where things go to (a) get folded and put away, or (b) die, whichever occurs first.

Go, Gina! Stay tuned for some Before and After (well, at least some Before!) pics from me in the coming days (weeks? months?)

Robert Jensen, Professor of Journalism at the University of Texas at Austin has an excellent article on what it feels like to be a white boy in America. He speaks openly about his unanticipated feelings of superiority. He also delves into issues of gender bias. Just go read. Great article. Maybe now you’ll see why Jensen is one of my favorite writers.

Listening to: Big Dog - Paul Howards

Check out U.S. Memorial Day History and Information on U.S. War Memorials online to find out all about how Memorial Day is celebrated in the United States. There are memorial and casualty files, links to other Memorial Day sites, speeches and essays and more.

And here’s why:

Listening to: Up Front - 10 - 24-7 - Paul Brown