I’ve been spending most of the weekend converting my web design site to PHP and doing a few other housekeeping chores. The main goal was to take the copyright info and turn it into footer.php and take the sidebar links and convert them to links.php and use includes in all my files. I hadn’t done this in the past because I was scared to death of some security issues with GreyMatter, which I was using on my blog templates gallery page.

Now that the GreyMatter issue is resolved, I went ahead and uploaded all my purdy new files and was hit smack in the face with this lovely admonition:

“Warning: main(): stream does not
support seeking [path/to/page] on line [line]

The page and the includes all load fine. You just have that error message right before any includes you have on that page. So the includes DO work. I Googled the dog snot out of it and finally found the answer.

Seems if your web host has recently upgraded its version of PHP, you will encounter that anomaly, discussed and explained at http://bugs.php.net.

Listening to: Sapphire Rain – Paul Howards

News Anchor Dan Rather, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, and a U.S. Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader.

The leader said, “I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last requests?”

Dan Rather said, “Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”

Cokie Roberts said, “I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job ’til the end. “The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, “Now I can die happy.”

The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?”

“Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.

“What?” asked the leader. “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, the Iraqis
were dead, dying or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?”

“What!?” said the Marine, “And have you liberal assholes call ME the aggressor?!?”

Gina, the quintessential atypical female, has just inspired me to clean up my act. She posted the Before and After pics of her and hubby’s garage cleanup. That just may be the incentive I need to clean up: (1) the computer room, where I’m sitting now, with clutter around my ears; (2) the kitchen, which is low on storage space and task lighting and keeps getting more dismal and cramped with each passing day; (3) the guest bedroom where things go to (a) get folded and put away, or (b) die, whichever occurs first.

Go, Gina! Stay tuned for some Before and After (well, at least some Before!) pics from me in the coming days (weeks? months?)

Robert Jensen, Professor of Journalism at the University of Texas at Austin has an excellent article on what it feels like to be a white boy in America. He speaks openly about his unanticipated feelings of superiority. He also delves into issues of gender bias. Just go read. Great article. Maybe now you’ll see why Jensen is one of my favorite writers.

Listening to: Big Dog – Paul Howards

Check out U.S. Memorial Day History and Information on U.S. War Memorials online to find out all about how Memorial Day is celebrated in the United States. There are memorial and casualty files, links to other Memorial Day sites, speeches and essays and more.

And here’s why:

Listening to: Up Front – 10 – 24-7 – Paul Brown

I notice when posting from Zempt, there’s a lag of about 10 minutes between the time I hit the “Publish New Post” button and the time the entry appears on the blog. You can go into WordPress and edit the entry immediately. But clicking on the link to the entry from within Wordpress nets you this admonition: Sorry, no posts matched your criteria.

Wondering what that’s all about. The posts do eventually appear, but if you’re looking for instant gratification, you best be moving along.

Listening to: Up Front – 07 – Sweet Sweet Love – Paul Brown

Update: Oh, this is TOO RICH. There’s a post I made previous to this one, and it hasn’t made it to the front page yet. This second post beat it there! That is really weird. Any ideas? Guess I should ask Zempt’s developer.

I’m looking forward to this long weekend. Gee, you are probably thinking to yourselves, isn’t she working part-time right now anyway? And didn’t she just work three days this week? Well, yes, I did. But don’t think for a minute that my Bossette didn’t squeeze five days’ worth of work out of me in those three.

I have nothing planned this weekend except some laundry (which is a breeze to do; just tote it — two tubs’ worth — to the launderette, after it’s in, read an e-book on my PDA, wait for the rinse cycle to add Downey, sit and read some more, drop it in the dryer, read, check, fold). Plus a little grocery shopping.

And I’m going to be fiddling with my websites this weekend: webjones.org is getting an overhaul, being converted from .html to .php, abandoning GreyMatter for the blogskins gallery (and doing away with the Karma votes since people weren’t leaving constructive comments). That will be turned into an MT sub-blog (MT is already driving the front page), along with the portfolio. Comments will be activated for the blogskins gallery, probably won’t be for the portfolio page.

I’ve also got a test install of TextPattern up at webjones.org and am fooling around with the stylesheet and underpinnings to see if TXP can run the site. Right now, I’m inclined to stick with what I know.

And money’s tight right now what with the renovation and constant purchasing of medical supplies. HIRE ME, SOMEONE. I’m not cheap, but I’m reasonable. And I’m probably better than your cousin’s next-door neighbor’s kid who has a bootleg copy of Frontpage.

Right now, I’m headed to the kitchen to get some cookies and milk for Robert and me. Then we’ll probably watch something cheesy on TV until bedtime.

Take care everyone. Be safe and have fun this Memorial Day weekend.

Listening to: Up Front – 06 – Phat City – Paul Brown

As you see, I’m using Zempt and am adding my “Listening to…” selections from WinAmp. I’m also using a Category Icon plugin. I’m not sure I’ll stay with it. It may tend to get annoying over time. Right now, I’ve confined the clutter to WordPress and About Him. So only posts about Robert or WordPress will have “topicons” next to them.

What do you think?

I’m delighted that I can still use Zempt to post to WordPress. I like the fact that Zempt organizes all my blogs into one place. And the WinAmp “Listening to…” plugin — useless, but nice, fluff, IMHO. Even tho I’m the only one who cares. Oh well!

Listening to: Heaven – Los Lonely Boys

I was over at SpinalCord.org and found ProjectWalk. I’ve never been so encouraged by the videos I watched of the progress some of these people have made. It was very heartwarming to say the least.

I’d love to get Robert into this program or one like it. Insurance won’t pay for this, natch. And the price is prohibitively expensive for us (around $3-4 grand per month, plus it’s in Sandy-Eggo. Only half a continent away. Errch!)

But after looking at those videos, which were very informative and went so far as to mention what kind of equipment was being used and which muscles it exercises, I don’t think there’s anything this place can do that we can’t figure out a way to do right here in Houston. One piece of equipment in particular, called a Versaclimber, I don’t recall seeing at T.I.R.R.

Gold’s Gym, here we come!