And how do I know when I get there? Why, easy!

You know you’re in California when….

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on
a conversation in English.

4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose
ring, and is named Breeze.

5. You can’t remember…is pot illegal?

6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a
sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee
beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran
and Ethiopian.

8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

9. You can’t remember…..is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

11. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.
You don’t even notice.

13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing
the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney
IS George Clooney.

14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman
who delivers your mail is into S &M, and your Mary Kay rep is a
guy in drag.

16. You can’t remember…is pot illegal?

17. You pass an elementary school playground and the children
are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.

18. It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for
work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

19. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

20. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

I am cleaning out all my old photo archives and burning CDs for them and came across this photo, which was snapped while Robert and I were living in San Antonio, circa. 1990.

The fish truck must have just driven by! No, actually, that sliding glass door opens onto a spacious patio surrounded by a tall wooden privacy fence. It’s also where the paper boy used to lob the Sunday paper. And it was, as I recall, a haven for squirrels and birds. So something must have caught their attention.

These two cats have both “crossed over the Rainbow Bridge.” Fred (tail, right) was my beloved red Persian. He died of kidney failure at age 9 in 1993, a few years after I moved to Houston. Cappuccina (or “Tuni” as we called her), in addition to being a pretty champagne Persian, was also a psycho-kitty I bought from a breeder in San Antonio. She was very aloof, unloving and generally a pain in the butt. When I left for Houston, I left Tuni in Robert’s care. He in turn left her with a friend of his and she lived to a ripe old age, mainly because Robert’s friend was as maladjusted and unfriendly as the cat!

Enjoy.

Landed in my in-box this morning….
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I just got Mariah Carey’s new CD, Charm Bracelet, specifically for “Bringing on the Heartache”, which is a great cover of Def Leppard’s version done oh so many years (decades!) ago. I’ve never been a big Mariah Carey fan, but when I overheard this song playing, I made a point to find out the who, what, when and where. Lyrics below. Enjoy.
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Boy, was I had. There was a comment from a Jim Treacher[1] at a blog I visited today. This Jim-Treacher-Person posted some WHOIS information and I ate his ass out over it.

What struck me as odd was that he decided to put in one of those lovely fake email addresses — you know the kind, the kind I was always getting at my blogskin download site until I got smart and got a script that mailed the blogskin — so if you wanted it, you had to “come clean” with your real email address — anyway, I have read Jim Treacher’s site before and he always seemed to me like a really sensible, level-headed guy. In fact, I even prefaced my diatribe with “Jim, until just now, I thought you were a pretty smart fella,” because I DID think he was!

Well, apparently he still is. This other person was an interloper. You know, this whole thing is making my head hurt. It’s like that sick soda commercial. Where Johnny Carson unzips himself and becomes Carson Daily, who unzips himself and becomes Carmen Electra, who unzips herself to become….

Anyway, Jim, I’m very sorry I mistook you for just another moon bat. To the moon bat posting as Jim: Take a long walk off a short pier.

That is all. Now I have some crow to eat. As soon as I take my foot out of my mouth.

[1] I went back and read the entire thread where “Jim” posted and he didn’t even post as Jim Treacher, but merely as Jim. What the hell I was thinking about at the time I fired off that retort baffles me. But it does prove one thing (well it proves a lot of things, but I don’t have the time and neither do you), it does prove that we all are capable of jumping to erroneous conclusions. With less than stellar results. I’m living proof.