1. What’s your favorite piece of clothing that you currently own? A little white crochet dress, it’s short (hits me mid-thigh), so I cannot bend over in it, but I love it. I have a vintage white wicker handbag that I wear with it. It screams summer!

2. What piece of clothing do you most want to acquire? I really need a nice winter coat. An all weather coat would be nice.

3. What piece of clothing can you not bring yourself to get rid of? Why? I have a nice old ivory knit sweater. It’s so soft and comfy, but it’s starting to “pill,” so I can’t wear it to work. But I love it and won’t get rid of it.

4. What piece of clothing do you look your best in? The dress described in Question 1.

5. What has been your biggest fashion accident? Years ago I bought a dress from Dillard’s in San Antonio. I loved it. It was when that crinkle cotton was all the rage (mid-1980s). It had a V-neck and wooden buttons. But it kept sliding down in the front when I would wear it. I found myself in the same store a few weeks later. And there, on a mannequin, was my dress. With the pretty wooden buttons going DOWN THE BACK! I had been wearing the damn thing backwards! Well, I couldn’t very well wear it to the office again, because everyone would know that I had it on backward the first two times I wore it!

Don’t know where I am on the Yankee Blogger’s project [link removed; it's now a porn site], but here goes:

1. I love cats.
2. I don’t like dogs.
3. I won’t eat celery, garbanzo beans, cottage cheese or Spam.
4. I believe I had a happy childhood.
5. Money was tight when I was growing up, so I learned to be frugal and I learned appreciation for what I had.
6. I am adopted.
7. I found out about it in the funeral car on the way to my adoptive mother’s funeral.
8. My adoptive mother was 58 when she took me (at birth) to raise.
9. I can sing the Israeli national anthem (Hatikva) in Hebrew.
10. I am Lutheran, not Jewish.
11. I started blogging when I read Carol’s blog back in June.
12. I pluck out gray hairs when I find them.
13. I have never had breast augmentation or any other kind of plastic surgery.
14. I do not have pierced ears (or anything else)
15. I do have a tattoo on my ankle.
16. It is of a guy’s name.
17. A guy I am no longer seeing.
18. Fortunately, his name is “Moody.”
19. I’d like to get a second tattoo right underneath it that says “Bitch.”
20. I am told I resemble the “fat Heart sister” [Ann Wilson]
21. If I won the lottery I’d go out and buy a Hummer H1
22. And a vintage Bricklin SV1.
23. I love the beach.
24. And the smell of fresh-mown grass.
25. I love to get in my car and drive even if I don’t have anywhere to go.
26. I failed typing in high school, yet I am a legal secretary (and a good one at that).
27. I am lazy at home and tend to let Robert take care of most of the household chores.
28. I hope I pass away before Robert does because I don’t want to have to deal with his death. It would upset me too much.
29. The worst feeling in the world is losing someone you love; I felt that when my mother died.
30. She comes to me in dreams every once in awhile, especially when I am troubled. I think she’s looking after me.
31. I do not get along with my half brothers.
32. I adore my step brother.
33. I was not popular in high school, I was just one of the nerds.
34. I suspect I am addicted to the Internet.
35. I’d love to be paid to design web pages.
36. My gravy always comes out lumpy.
37. But I make a fantastic chocolate cream cheese pie.
38. I am a Cancer.
39. I am a cancer survivor.
40. I collect art glass baskets.
41. I may be addicted to e-Bay.
42. I have taken some supplies home from the office.
43. I don’t smoke.
44. I don’t drink anymore.
45. I roll the toilet paper and the paper towel rolls under from the back.
46. I was born on Sunday.
47. In San Antonio, Texas.
48. In July.
49. People always think I’m younger than I am (49).
50. I don’t believe I act my age.
51. I have no patience with slow or lazy waitpersons.
52. If I don’t feel the service was good, I leave a penny. That way, they won’t think I simply “forgot” to tip them.
53. I am a generous tipper if the service is good.
54. My drink of choice is iced tea.
55. I have to have two cups of coffee (laced with Hazelnut coffee creamer) in the morning to get started, then it’s tea the rest of the day.
56. Mr. K (Yutaka Katayama, “father of the Z-Car”) signed my 300 ZX’s sun shade plate.
57. I have been called “intense.”
58. Some people mistake this intensity for anger (it’s not).
59. I keep to myself at work.
60. I won’t have an inkjet printer in my house. Years of working in an office has spoiled me for the laser jet.
61. I think I have a pretty nice computer set up.
62. I wish I had have a Sony Mavica.
63. I once made a list of people whom I could make cry.
64. When I first met Robert, I didn’t like him; I thought he was arrogant and full of himself.
65. I firmly believe that Robert is my soul mate.
66. My nickname as a child was “babydoll.”
67. My nickname now is “Jonesy”
68. I feel very confident in my knowledge of CSS and HTML.
69. I wish I could get the hang of Flash and JavaScript.
70. I wish I was on more people’s blogrolls.
71. I am a published writer.
72. I got to see The Patti Smith Group, Patty Smythe, Honeymoon Suite, Jethro Tull, Acoustic Alchemy and Charlie Musslewhite live in concert.
73. I have a thing for my cats’ toes and tails.
74. I like to smell things, especially cloth and leather.
75. I chew my fingerpads when I’m nervous.
76. Showers, NEVER baths.
77. I don’t worry anymore about whether someone thinks I’m too fat, too loud or too anything else.
78. I always raised the grading curve in any class I was in during High School.
79. I became good friends with my sixth grade teacher after I was grown and got a job. Turns out she was a really nice human being after all.
80. I learned to drive a standard when I was 30 years old (on a 1983 Ford Escort Station Wagon)
81. I have never learned to ride a bicycle.
82. I have never learned to blow bubblegum.
83. I lost my virginity to Robert at age 22.
84. I was a very sheltered child.
85. I want have broadband.
86. My most admired writer is Robert Jensen.
87. I am very frustrated right now trying to install and use GreyMatter on my blog. I gave up Greymatter and blazed through MovableType, Textpattern and am now settled on WordPress.
88. As a child, I could entertain myself for hours drawing.
89. When I was young, I thought I wanted to be a disc jockey or an architect.
90. I had a crush on a disc jockey in San Antonio when I was in my teens.
91. I created a ruse to go see him at the radio station when I was 16 years old.
92. He kissed me.
93. I wish I’d spent more time listening to my mother’s stories.
94. I wish I could find her recipe for Tomato Soup Cake.
95. I think my mother would be happy with the person I am today.
96. I am well respected among the attorneys where I work.
97. I’m not sure the other secretaries like me, but I’m not sure I care.
98. I don’t care too much for children.
99. Wake up, I’m fat.
100. And it’s also a good book by Camryn Manheim.

You probably do, about as well as the next person, if you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time. I’m not that hard to figure out. But take this test and see if you’ve been paying attention…. You might learn something about me….

My toes are on vacation this week … and so is the rest of me!

Well there already is a real Code-Bitch, but it made a great title to this entry. Go and grab your Blogger Code like I did:

B1 d- t k+ s+ u- f i o x- e+ l+ c

Never permit Site Meter to place its code automatically on your Blogger page. Instead, choose HTML or Notepad format and cut and paste the damn code yourself. By being lazy and allowing Site Meter to do the work for me, I ended up spending even more time fixing its mistakes. Site Meter threw its code in where IT wanted to, ate one of my “DIV” tags removed the closing HTML tag, and I played hell getting everything settled back down. Good grief!

Okay, after having found the link to Dimensions Magazine, and having grown tired of watching Face the Nation, I surfed on in and noticed some chat. There were several chat rooms, but they all were empty except one, called “Feeder Chat.” Now I thought this was something like server feed or news feed, or streaming video. Yeesh. It was NOT. It was something similar to what I’ve been reading about in Camryn Manheim’s book, Wake Up, I’m Fat. To any of you who do not know what I’m talking about, this is one of the darker sides of human nature. And apparently this is a growing (no pun intended) subculture among the fat and their worshippers.

In Camryn’s book, she tells about how she accidentally stumbled onto this subculture. Apparently, there are some people out there (men, mostly) who “get off” on a really enormous woman. I’m not sure how “sexual” this thrill is. Camryn seemed to feel it was more a “domination” or “power trip” thrill, not eroticism. So the way that rape is less an erotic act, more a violent or hateful act, so too I think is this weirdness. The woman’s goal is to become bigger. When she becomes so big that she is unable to feed herself, she is force fed through a feeding tube some type of high calorie slop. Sex is had through the use of a contraption that is rigged to position the woman’s body in such a way (legs splayed open I would imagine) that the man can enter her. Problem with all this is that once a woman reaches a certain weight, and is immobile, unable to stand, walk or anything else, her body refuses to gain anymore weight. Once this occurs, it is the kiss of death for the hapless woman, because the man loses interest and abandons her for another, less fat, woman whom he can then feed to increase her size, and the cycle starts all over again.

This is human nature at its worst. And the women that buy into this crap are no better. It’s the antithesis to those people (men, again, usually) who won’t give a woman the time of day unless she’s supermodel thin. The men who are “attracted to” a woman JUST BECAUSE SHE’S BIG are no better than men who are attracted to a slim woman simply because of her size. The people in this “feeder” subculture aren’t giving fat women a break and they aren’t being “fat accepting.” They are being just as oppressive toward fat people as the ones who shun them.

It’s not about body size, people. Despite what the media and the cola companies and the car companies and the panty and bra companies would lead you to believe. It’s about what’s INSIDE. But if what’s inside is rotten, then it doesn’t matter how big or small or pretty you are. You have nothing to offer. Just a shell. And as you can see from the above, once the shell becomes unacceptable, you don’t even have that.

Just like with web pages, so with human beings. Content is king.

Oh, yeah, and I **have** been told I look a lot like the the fat Heart sister. Now, if I only had her talent….

While scouring the Internet for some information on Dreamboat Annie, I found this from Dimensions Magazine. This page’s author got it right. There’s a lot more to this songstress than her “dimensions.” The critics, of course, wolverines that they are, don’t see past the outer shell. So it just goes to show you, even if you have something wonderful to offer (a great singing voice, for example), it matters not. They’ll always hone in on your weight.

That’s why I finally made a decision years ago (after suffering through a lot of callous comments by so-called “well meaning” friends and lovers) that as long as I am happy with me, the rest of the world could just go fuck itself (and leave me out of it). Since then, I’ve been quite happy, managed to re-attract the love of my life. And how did this all start again? (In case you weren’t paying attention), I started loving ME, just the way I am. When you give yourself unconditional love, then you open yourself up to more of the same. When you are constantly worried about how you will appear to others, your insecurity leaks out every pore and you get grief in return. Truly, we reap what we sow!

This week’s feature is the drop-dead gorgeous and screamingly fast Lamborghini. This example is a late-1990s Diablo. The MSRP on a Diablo in 1998 (the last year the model was offered) was a paltry $239,000. This vehicle can carry one well-heeled driver and a passenger (whoever is lucky enough to be a friend of a Lambo owner!) and a small amount of their luggage in relative style (notice I did not say *comfort*) and amazing speed. This slingshot goes from 0-60mph in 4.06 seconds, with a top speed of 203mph! And the power behind this beast is a V-12 light-alloy block, mid mounted (longitudal), rear wheel drive engine with dual overhead camshafts, and a maximum horsepower of 492bhp at 7000 rpms. I am disappointed to note that the rear spoiler is *optional* — hey, for that kind of cash, it better come with Brad Pitt, Jared Leto, Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas, Russell Crowe and The Rock — a hunk for every day of the week, PLUS get up every morning and fix my breakfast…. Well, I suppose if you have a quarter of a million dollars to spend on a vehicle, you aren’t going to quibble about some chump change for a spoiler. (The spoiler probably cost more than my entire car!) Click on the thumbnail to see a larger image. Enjoy!

It’s an auction, it’s a religious diatribe, it’s a demented rant, it’s too weird to be believed, it’s … a bargain at this price!!!

E-Kook Auction … and check out the About Me page….