• I connected Twitter to my Flavors.me page – http://flavors.me/jonimueller #flavorsme #

If you work with me at Big Law…

I’m the one who silently corrects your grammar and misspellings and tries not to laugh too hard when you, a partner, hand-write “forum non convenience” in an important memo.

I’m the one who remembers to search through an 80-page contract for references to a section of the contract that you’ve deleted (and flags them for you so you can decide what to do about them, since they no longer exist in that contract).

I’m the one who remembers to save that important document to my computer desktop “just in case,” and hands it back to you in an email when the system server goes down in flames one Saturday afternoon.

I’m the one who trolls the appellate web sites for opinions that might be relevant to cases you are working on, hoping that one may be the smoking gun you need to win your case.

I’m the one who keeps abreast of new technology so when you come running up to me with seconds to spare, I can calmly take care of your last-minute e-filing without having a nervous breakdown. (I’ll leave that for YOU to do.)

I’m the one who keeps the copier full of paper. frees it from jams, and clears out your user ID and matter number (so others don’t come along and rack up copy costs on your client’s dime).

I’m the one who stays a few minutes past quitting time to make sure your project is completed, printed and delivered to your office when a clock watcher might have just emailed it back to you incomplete about 10 minutes before quitting time.

I’m the one who keeps silent when our very generous support staff bonus (which I’ve been the beneficiary of for over 18 years) was drastically cut last year, yet partner bonuses continued as before.

I’m the one who tries not to notice when summer associates and first year lawyers look at secretaries like we are second rate citizens. Yet we are the first ones you run to when the coffee machine, the copier, or the ice machine breaks down or you need reservations to a restaurant yesterday.

I’m the one who never forgets what the firm has done for me when it didn’t have to, when I lost my car in Tropical Storm Allison in 2001, or when my husband became catastrophically injured in 2003.

Yep, that’s me. You got a problem with that?

• Exclusively for #ultimatetruebie followers, the final #trueblood minisode. #waitingsucks http://twitvid.com/SRLZI #
• Aaaah! One of my favorite techno-pop bands from the 1990s. Cause and Effect…. ♫ http://blip.fm/~r955r #
• Another great new age/jazz artist. I love the White Winds album (yes, I have it in VINYL!) ♫ http://blip.fm/~r94wt #
• Love this jazz guitarist! ♫ http://blip.fm/~r94u2 #

• Notes From a Motherless Daughter – http://b2l.me/tmzej (via @jonimueller) #

I was adopted. I didn’t find this out until we were in the funeral car on the way to my mother’s funeral. I was 21 years old and my world had just been shattered. One of my sisters-in-law turned to me in the car and asked, “So, Joni Marie, when did you find out you were adopted?” Blindsided by that question, but still with the sass of a youngster, I replied, “Well right now, I guess.”

I was simply too naive. Either that or my mother was a superb liar. I think it was a bit of both.

My relatives told me then that they had begged Thelma to tell me that I was adopted. But she wouldn’t. Because she was afraid of losing me. She didn’t want me running off to “find” my “real” mother. She should have trusted herself more. Trusted that she raised me well. She was and always will be my mother. My mother, plain and simple. And yes, my “real” mother.

The one who raised me, who tried to instill a set of values in me, who was disappointed and didn’t mind showing it when I did something wrong.

The one who used the last dime she had to buy a set of classic books for me to read when I was eight year old, wanting me to have “class” and “culture,” things she didn’t get as a child.

The one who came to her best friend asking to buy some S&H Green Stamps (if you are old enough, you’ll remember these!) because she was a couple of books short of being able to buy that toy I just couldn’t live without at the moment.

The one who raised me by the belt, but from whom just a withering glance would suffice to keep me on track.

The one who hid toys in her closet so her 5-year old daughter could go on just one more year thinking there really was a Santa Claus and not just an elderly woman on a widow’s pension funding those great Christmases.

The one who taught me how to make biscuits.

The one who slapped the spoon out of my hand when she caught me pouring the Lydia Pinkham (Google it) medicine down the drain because I couldn’t tell my mother that stuff was just too vile to drink; I’d rather die of menstrual cramps.

The one who believed me when I needed to be believed and backed me on that issue which culminated in her firing our housekeeper. (That’s a blog post for another day.)

The one who told me tall tales about how she met Carl Mueller, thinking that it was better to say she met him at the NCO club rather than that she was his housekeeper. (I found this out from my brother a long time after my mother had been gone; and instead of feeling a sense of shame or shock, I simply said to myself, “You go, girl!.”)

I miss her terribly sometimes, miss the advice she could have given me during various times in my life. Wonder what she would say if she were to see me today. Hoping she would like the person I am, the person she had a hand in creating.

I love you, Mother. And I will never forget you. I can’t. You are me and I am you.

• Lawyers,be sure you and staff use the correct code when #efiling critical documents, especially at the 25th hour. http://tinyurl.com/24nb2hl #
• Top Five Clever TV Ads of All Time – http://b2l.me/svg2p #

Madison Avenue is known for its clever and brilliant mind. Sometimes, things go horribly, horribly wrong (think Quiznos Sponge Monkeys — those roadkill rodents with the hideous occluded teeth — not something you generally associate with mealtime). But sometimes, they get it right, and magnificently so. Here are my top five picks for best commercial of all time. In reverse order (saving the best for last).

No. 5: Danier Leather

Danier Leather has a clever ad involving a case of mistaken identity or bait and switch. The double-take in the elevator as both men realize what has happened is priceless.

No. 4: Blake’s Auto Body

Blake’s Auto Body plays off another case of mistaken identity, this time with an innocent red Ford Mustang as the “victim.” But Blake’s “can fix anything.” Great marketing!

No. 3: Dancing Citroen

The music is very clever and catchy. The little Citroen C4 comes alive (“Alive With Technology,” according to the advert) and boogies down with the beat, then sedately morphs back into a sedan as the music abruptly ends.

No. 2: Harley-Davidson

Harley-Davidson plays on the biker “bad boy” image to juxtapose the roles in this commercial, keeping you off guard until the last second, as the camera pans to the wedding photo on the couple’s nightstand. Respect.

No. 1: Aiwa Sound

This Aiwa ad cleverly builds momentum, with the throbbing beat of Queen and “Another One Bites The Dust,” right up to the last second, when the camera pans back to reveal it’s not just the generation gap that has the older man in the passenger seat scowling.

• You can hear the didgeridoo on this track. Very clever. One of my favorite bands. ♫ http://blip.fm/~oszx3 #
• Jazz helps me unwind at the end of the day. Euge Groove is a fave. ♫ http://blip.fm/~oswmi #
• If this song by Zdravko Colic doesn't cheer you up, check yourself for a pulse! ♫ http://blip.fm/~osw9p #
• April in Belgrade … Beautiful song by Zdravko Colic. ♫ http://blip.fm/~osw1n #
• Mmmm. Some smooth jazz, a cup of hot tea, and Gregg in my ears. ♫ http://blip.fm/~olhr9 #
• http://twitpic.com/1esvej – BTW, this is a 1975 Bricklin SV-1. "SV" stands for "Safety Vehicle." Not so much. The first series of these ca #
• http://twitpic.com/1esvej – I've always loved this impractical car. If money were no object, I'd probably have one today. It would make whee #

• #Twitter is becoming like a fly around my tail, these popups wanting me to disclose my location. How about a "Just go away dammit!" button? #

• Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jonimueller #